Take me out to the Ballgame
by CatsWatchBatman
Summary: A friendly competition at Arkham Asylum. Ivy doesn't want to lose, and doesn't plan on it either. No pairings really.


"Baseball?" The ten inmates stared at the nurse. Some confused, some scared, some indifferent, and a few in downright glee.

"Yes. Bane and Pamela, you're the team captains. Choose your teams." The nurse really didn't think it would help the inmates in any way, but hoped it would be hilarious to watch.

"Ladies first." Bane smiled at Ivy. She ignored him.

"Harley." The blonde jester bounced over and hugged her.

"Yay."

Bane was stifling a snort,"Okay then chickas. I choose Killer croc." Waylon Jones lumbered over to his side, making an imposing figure at nine feet tall.

"Jervis." Harley gapped at Ivy as the Mad Hatter slowly worked his way over. Now Bane was just outright laughing.

"Why'd yah pick the hatter guy, Red?"

"You'll see," she smiled evilly.

"Two-Face." The muscled villain went over to Bane's side.

"Crane." As the skinny figure walked over towards Ivy the rest of Bane's team started laughing. Harley stared at Ivy in dismay.

"Red?"

"You'll see."

"Joker." As soon as his name was called he sprung over. Harley stared after him sadly.

"Nigma." The Riddler went over, happy not to be picked last.

"Firefly." The other team was now filled with muscly guys, while Ivy's team, well, it wasn't looking so good.

"How bout we play shirts and skins. Shirts! Called it." Killer Croc laughed. Jervis tilted his head.

"But you aren't even wearing a shirt." The Nurse felt now was the time for her to intervene.

"Okay everyone, Ivy, your team is green, Bane, your's is red. Go grab a jersey." She had the boxes out in front of her.

"I'll get them." Harley raced away with her unbridled energy and brought back five green jerseys, which the team put on with no trouble. The red team on the other hand was having a bit of difficulty. Joker had raced ahead like Harley and thrown all of the red jerseys in the mud. Which left the rest of them fighting over the ones with the least amount of mud. Killer Croc didn't really care about mud, but the jerseys were to small for him and he ended up his wrapping one around his arm and watching as the others fought.

"When your ready, green bats first and red goes to the outfield." The nurse said, trying not to laugh. The green team waited by home plate for a good ten minutes before the red team stumbled over. Tired and covered in mud. It then took them another five minutes to decide who got what spot. Meanwhile, Ivy was discussing angles and power between the three men with PhDs. Though they were very un-athletic, they did know about the sports. Harley and Ivy would go for the homers while they would try not to get out. Jervis was a little apprehensive though.

"Just pretend your hitting a hedgehog with a flamingo, but sideways, and you want none of them to catch it." Edward said to him. With that Jervis got a look of determination and marched up to the plate.

The other team was finally done arguing and Harvey was pitching. Firefly on first, Joker on second, Bane on third, and Croc in the outfield. All except the Joker looked pretty beat. He, on the other hand, was still laughing hysterically. Edward was telling Tetch the angle to hit, so when the ball came whizzing it actually made contact. Jervis ran to first as the ball whizzed right by the Joker's ear. Killer Croc raced to get it as it rolled through the grass. By the time he got it, Jervis' feet were firmly placed on first. Croc tossed it back to Dent, growling about something.

Johnny and Nigma went next. Each managing to get one base. Harley went up and rolled her shoulders, trying to remember the angle to get a home run. The first ball she let fly past her. It wasn't a good hit anyway, but the second was a different story. She hit it straight on and it went far into outfield. Croc wasn't paying attention, and it wasn't till all four of his teammates started yelling at him that he realized he had to get the ball. Harley got all the boys back to home and the nurse changed the score to 4:0.

Ivy went up to the base and when Harvey threw the ball swung lightly at it. It dropped a few feet in front of her. She started walking to first.

"You get it." Joker yelled to Harvey. She reached first.

"Firefly is closer." Harvey yelled back. Going to second.

"I'm pretty sure Banes closer." Going to third.

"Are you kidding me? It's on your side of the field fire freak!" Going to home.

"Fire freak? Big talk coming from a guy on steroids." While they argued Ivy calmly made it to home. The nurse changed the score. The arguing went on for a while, just as it looked like Two face was going to strangle the Joker the nurse called out.

"Switch sides." This caused all of the red team to turn and see the score. They awkwardly shuffled to the home plate. The awkwardness didn't last long as they were soon arguing about who would go first.

Ivy put Nigma on the pitchers mound, given that he wasn't a fast runner. She put Harley in the outfield, as much as she would have loved to be in the grass. The other team probably would have called cheating. She put her self on second, Crane on first, and Jervis on third.

After what seemed like forever, the other team was ready, and with Bane up to bat first.

"Come on riddle nerd. Can you even throw a ball?" Edward glared at him before a curve ball flew right by Bane.

"Throwing isn't so much physical, except for speed, otherwise it's all about the math." Eddie grinned. He managed to strike Bane out. He was not so lucky with Firefly who managed to hit the ball, right into Crane's glove. His tallness and long legs came in handy. Harvey barely made it to first base. Killer Croc swung hard and sent it out into the outfield. Harley raced after it. Killer Croc was taking his time, which annoyed Harvey to no end. Harley didn't catch the ball, but she had a hard swing, and she threw it straight to Nigma before Croc could step on first.

"Out." The nurse called from the sidelines. Harvey sighed and went back to first.

Finally Joker was up. He swung the bat in fancy circles before holding it steady. The first pitch he spun around as the ball passed and was laughing while his teammates groaned. The second time he hit it towards the nurse who screamed as it almost hit her head.

"Oopsies," he chuckled. She glared a him before throwing back the ball to Edward.

"This was just two rounds. You get one more out and your done." She leaned back with a huff. Nigma threw the ball and the Joker smiled. Hitting it right in the center.

The ball landed neatly in Ivy's glove. The red team let out a collective groan. Minus the Joker who was doing a little victory dance. The nurse walked over.

"Congratulations green team. You won," she stuck a 'you are great' sticker on all of Ivy's team, 'nice try' on the others. Jervis stared at the sticker on his shirt.

"I actually won a game for once." He smiled.

"A game you play outdoors." Crane added in.

"I won at a sport." Edward said happily. Jervis came up and hugged Ivy.

"Thank you Miss Isley." Before bounding off to who knows where. Maybe wonderland.

"Yeah, thanks Pam." Jon said sincerely, well, as he could.

"Thanks." The Riddler said simply.

Harley came bounding over, "That was a nice thing you did, was that your plan all along?" She asked.

"Well, partially that, and partially, I can't stand to lose. I needed people who would listen to me and not fight. Leaving Bane with uncooperative brawlers who would make a terrible team. It was simply the smart choice." But she also felt happy, for she knew those three men didn't win very often.

"Still, you did a good thing Red." And with that, the best friends walked back into Arkham for lunch.


End file.
